2007, present tense, no doubt its a year where many things happened, and i know that im being bloody selfish. its true that humans do not cherish things until they had lost it, that includes love, trust, faith, and everything else that is priceless in this world. once, i am a person who takes refuge in gadgets, which gives me temporary joy and pleasure whenever i get my hands on them, in the process i neglected things that are important to me. i prefer to game, to spend time with friends who, i do not know, are they my friends, than spending time with 1 person who has always been there for me these 2 years.
2 months ago, we broke up. it indeed is a decision that i regret very much till today. i know, its too late for me, to tell you that i saw myself with you in da future. but its now faded away, because u are not by my side. i guess, its the right decision that you made, for not coming back to me. its my fault in the first place and im still blaming myself for not being able to be more patient with you. no matter is it ur fault, or mine, ill just blame it on myself.
i caused you misery, i made you cry although i promised u that i wont make you cry. i made you miserable, i made you lose your senses, i still cant forget those words that you told me, what happened after we broke up. i cant forget it. i cant. it makes me… jealous.. lustful, and full of wrath, the properties of which should not even exist in the human life. its too late now, for me to say all these. and i dont think any1 would even stumble across my blog. for i feel that i am of no worth to anyone.
UTAR, is a place where i hoped that i would change for the better. but it seems like, this is not the place for me. the people around me are naive, people who wouldn even think of the consequences of their actions. people who would just give you a call and ask you to fetch them to wherever they want. people who would just notice you when they are in need, and discard of you and treat u as a mirror all the time. im losing faith in myself, im breaking up. if all you people value those that have fluent tongue in rubbish and fiddlesticks, then by all means, i wish you all the best.
sorry, sorry, sorry. i am sick and tired of this bloody word that you are constantly telling me. if you are sorry, then jump into the lake at westlake and ill know that you are sorry. not happy with me, TELL IT DIRECTLY TO MY FACE. instead of being a joker who can change personalities anytime.
to my dear, i.. pray to God that you will come back into my arms again… for i really, love you. what love means to us, only you will know…. and only i will know…
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